Not A Novel Idea...Actually A Novel

For the past several years, I have been working on my two novels: "The Nine Realms" and "The Dawnhaven Manifesto", both works of sword-and-sorcery fantasy. I have finally gotten my entire outline for The Nine Realms done and on paper. Now to fill it in on my computer. As soon as it's done, I will attempt to get it published by some major publishing company and I will let you all know when. Wish me luck.

Holidays...ugh

In the spirit of the Thanksgiving entry, I have decided that many of the many holidays are their own deadly sin in celebration. Let's start at the beginning of the year.
Valentine's Day: Lust. This one is fairly obvious. This is the one day a year that every boyfriend, husband, sugar daddy, and hopeless romantic will shell out countless dollars for cutesy gifts of chocolate, flowers and whatnot in exchange for some sort of romantic/physical compensation. Nice work, jackasses.
St. Patrick's Day: Wrath. Not so obvious, the holiday itself is not particularly wrathful, but the side effects are. What is the number one thing people do under copious amounts of alcohol? Fight. Thanks Patty for giving us a day for everyone over 21 to be a jerk.
Fourth of July: Vanity. Independence Day is the 24-hour marathon of American vanity. We use this day as an excuse to be almost laughably big-headed about our nation, our rights, our stuff, and ourselves. It's all America, all the time, for a full day. Do us Americans really need one more day to be full of ourselves? No.
Labor Day: Sloth. The one holiday named rather ironically, Labor Day is the most laughable of US holidays, and one of the most guilty of its sin. It's called Labor Day. Celebration? Everyone takes a day off. We go out of our ways to do nothing at all. Wow.
Halloween: Greed. Self-explanatory, Halloween is that special time of year where we all suit up in ridiculous get-ups ranging from ball-shrinkingly terrifying to sickeningly cute to offensively revealing to so far over the top, it makes everything else look like Casual Friday. And why do we do this nonsense? Candy, and piles upon piles of it. We embarass ourselves for want of the sweet stuff. Nice to know even the best of us are not above debasing ourselves for a meager reward.
Thanksgiving: Gluttony. See 'Gobble Gobble Gobble'
Christmas: Envy. Now fast approaching, Christmas is when all of America stands up as one and bellows 'I WANT THAT!' in one thundering voice. It's capitalism at its finest, where we all want what someone else, or no one else, has. It's no longer even about religion anymore. Just stuff and money. If you ask me, this is the most American of holidays celebrated over here, more so than the 4th of July. This is what America is all about. Money and stuff.
In conclusion, despite the name, 'holy-days' are the most unholy of times. With that, I bid all of you Happy Holidays.

Gobble Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving. The day we (in America at least) sit down and stuff our faces with truly ludicrous amounts of food under the guise of being thankful. This is the only American holiday commemorated by a nationwide televised parade, and the only one that requires a mass genocide of exceptionally plump turkeys. We should all be at least a little thankful we have the opportunity once a year to throw ourselves wholeheartedly into the tastiest of the seven sins: gluttony. See you in hell everyone!
P.S.,
Save me a leg.

Originality

I find that almost every movie out today is totally unoriginal. I will support this from the analysis of ten different movies, and movie types, today.
1. Paranormal Activity: a blatant ripoff of Amityville. Haunted houses are nothing new.
2. 2012: apocalyptic disaster movie #2317852
3. Amelia: The Aviator style biopic about a pilot, this time a woman
4. Disney's A Christmas Carol: This isnt even a variation on the story done countless times, this IS the story done countless times.
5. Anything based on a book: This has been done ever since there have been movies. Try something else. (See: Harry Potter, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, Angels and Demons, and on and on and on)
6. Sequels: Trying to soak up more money from a franchise that shouldve ended after one (See: Transformers) or never existed at all (see Twilight)
7. Reboots: It is in no way original to reinvent a franchise by throwing everything previously established away and starting again (See Star Trek and The Dark Knight)
8. Pixar movies: These need to disappear. Every Pixar movie ever: something cute learns a valuable lesson.
9. Anything with Seth Rogen: Get over him. He, and his movies, SUCK. Make an original comedy and leave his fat ass out of it.
10. Anything based on a video game/cartoon/comic: This is filmifying a story (often with horrendous results) into a movie. With a few exceptions (See Spider-Man, Dark Knight) these movies are met with a thundering 'meh' at best (See: Superman Returns, Resident Evil, Dragonball)

After the Exorcism

The play has finished and it was a relatively big success. My piece (the mantlepiece to be precise) was an epic success, destryoing stage left every night. Now strike has begun (which is striking down the set so the next one can be built). As for the winter, I am undecided as to do forensics or stage crew. Forensics is good in that its incredibly creative and kinda fun, but stage crew is also really fun and involves manual labor which I don't hate as much as I thought I did. The crew hates forensics (for reasons i don't entirely understand) but forensics doesnt care. I will have made up my mind soon, but let me know what you think.

Spirited Away

Remember how I said that I was building a set for a play? The play is called the Blithe Spirit and premieres this upcoming weekend. This next week will be full of hard work, free admission, dinner on campus, interactions with the actors, Big Boy, and the cast party. The play itself is kind of like 'Ghosts of Girlfriends Past', only British, set in the 30s, and exponentially more entertaining than anything Matthew McConaughey will ever come out with. It has a beautiful set (not just a stage crew bias, it is quite lovely) and the acting is promising, if not in need of slight improvement. I was delighted to find out that the mantel piece (that i built from scratch myself) is both gorgeous and holds stuff well without showing the slightest strain. All in all, should be a good show. By the way if anyone involved with the show reads this and is offended, I am deeply sorry if I insulted you.

Extra! Extra! Extra!

I have stumbled into a new passion and remembered an old one: writing for a humor column in the school newspaper and photography (respectively). The new one is much harder than it sounds, because finding material is so radically hard. Mostly teachers and current events are prime targets, but others are just as useful (and more original to boot). For photography, I took pictures of various things on my school campus and realized two things: just how much fun I was having, and just how awful my camera is. It's a little blocky Kodak CD33 and has served me well, but for my job will make things very difficult (I am also trying to land a photography spot on the paper). Wish me luck and if you go to Cranbrook, read the Crane-Clarion's next issue, because I will be in it (or my pics will be).

The most complicated of creatures...

Women. Every man wants to understand how a woman thinks, what makes her tick. Frankly, as a guy, I can say that it cannot be done. This is not to insult the capabilities of men, but decoding the mind of the average female is like trying to unscramble a Rubik's dodecahedron made entirely of angry, rabid chameleons in an Andy Warhol painting (translation: impossible). They are the one treasure every (straight) man hunts, and the language that few men speak. They are more emotional, more sensitive, more insightful, and more complex than men. So why do we still try to solve the riddle, finish the jigsaw, tame the chameleons? Because we have to. Somewhere deep in the mind of every straight guy, is the little voice that says "You have to at least try. Now go, my son, go and try." So to all guys out there, go try (and if you succeed/have succeeded, try not to get bitten by the chameleons, rabies is a hassle).

Another unique situation...

Every now and again, my mom will be around the country for days or weeks on end. This means that I'll be put up in my school's dorms for that time. I am a one-of-a-kind student at school, as I can look at both the lives of the light-fearing, gamer heavy, food hoarding boarders, and the relatively normal people of the day student demographic. I did this for a week and a month in two different instances last year, and loved it. This time is for a measly three days (I leave tomorrow), but light shines through. I have made a deal with my mother, and if I can achieve straight A's this years, my transformation into a boarder will be complete. Here's hopin'.

Busy-ness

School is going well (overload of the homework, but who doesn't have one?) and now there is a whole new element to keep me busy. Clubs! Thanks to bright signs and free candy, I am now a part of the school newspaper, the school art magazine, and the forensics team. No, not like CSI. The speaking kind. On top of that, there is the looming sharp-dressed specter of homecoming overhead like a large fly, but with a helicopter engine and an eighty foot neon sign on its back (don't ask me how it holds it up, it just does). Oh yes, and stage crew. We build the beautiful sets, paint pretty pictures, play wiht power tools, and fight an urge to make the stage rickety so the 'thespians' will 'lose their balance'. All in all, with all this big stuff to sweat, the little stuff isn't making it past my Speedstick.

Here's To You, Astro

Today I came home to find my pet rabbit of 7 years dead. He was the best pet I have ever had and likely ever will. He was the best listener, the best company, and a friendly cuddle for a sour mood. This may sound cliche (O.K., it is cliche) but make the most of life because you really don't know how long you have. He was a great friend and now I'll never again be able to walk into my room with a friendly 'Hey Bun!' and have him perk right up to greet me. So many memories, so much to look back on. So here's to you, Astro 'The Wonder Bunny' Morgan, March 2, 2000- September 21, 2009. Bye Bunners.

Here We Go Again.....

September is here once again. To most of the world, it's just the first month of fall and the last barbecue times of the year. For students globe-wide (myself included) it means another year of (drumroll please) SCHOOL. Ah yes. We all know the 'S' word. Nine months of boring classes, hard tests, mean teachers, report cards, cafeteria 'food' and judgements all around (by lookish teens and bookish teachers). But as dreadful as the last statement sounds, school is , unbelievably to some, not all bad. It is the source of a valuable (no matter how unwanted) education and the foundation of some of the first and strongest friendships in one's life. So to all those bound to school this year, buck up and buckle down, because if you make good friends and get good grades, you will be far better off in the long run. Now I'm off to school for the next nine months, but I'll keep in touch, y'all.

The Forest and The Trees

Today, everyone sweats the little stuff or they don't sweat at the big stuff. Frankly, who wants to? Nothing is worse than pit stains when faced with a big deal. Sorry, that train of thought was a little derailed. Back to the original point, someone once told me to 'look at the forest, not just the trees'. This is a valid metaphor, because often the whole is more than the sum of its parts. Many people I know will stare for hours at each and every tree, counting leaves, noting every imperfection, and in short completely missing the fact that they are in a forest. Others focus entirely too much on the forest, and don't give 2 cents about the trees, much less the leaves. But in the midst of these people, there is a handful that appreciate the forest, but can also enjoy the trees, and one among them who lives in the forest and makes something better out of the trees for themselves and others (this both in the literal and metaphorical sense). This is the balance many never realize exist, few strive for, and even less find.

Summer Vacation

It's a thing that every kid waits for, every parent dreads, and every working grown-up craves. It's three months of paradise for the under-18s and three months of hell for the adults. But why? During the nine normal months, students daydream of 3 months of pools, malls, exotic locales, and no homework. In reality, its 3 months of reruns, mosquitoes and isolation. It's not all bad though. For example, all the guys in my family go fishing in Canada for a week at one point (which always leads to hilarity and cursing) but is a great way to relieve stress. It's at times like that I really think that I'm getting just a little taste, a sample, a glimpse of the fantasy that is everyone's perfect summer.